I Feel Like It Isn’t Going Anywhere

Dear Zahra

I’ve  been talking to this guy who I met online and he seems like a really lovely guy, but the only issue is that I don’t feel like it’s going anywhere nor do I know his intentions. We’ve been texting for 2 months, we’ve only spoken on the phone once at the beginning and he’s never asked to meet me (he once joked about meeting at the start). When I said that I feel like he wasn’t interested in me, he questioned me and said it’s because he’s been really busy with a new job and gym taking up most much of his time. He said he’ll make more effort but never actually gave me reassurance and then carried on like nothing happened. I don’t want to end things with him but I do feel like he’s wasting my time and also making me feel needy when I try and progress things further. What should I say to him and do in this situation?



*Name changed for anonymity

Dear Rima 

I know it might feel like there is so much worth pursuing here but you’ve highlighted a lot of red flags. The biggest for me, being that you’re already at the point where you’re beginning to feel needy and that’s never a good thing. 

It’s been 2 months and he’s not seriously suggested meeting up – I’d be question whether he actually has any intention of progressing this situation.

Right now, it sounds like this man has found a great way to pass his time and while doing so, is keeping you at an arms length, so things don’t get too serious. Now I’m assuming this isn’t a long distance situation. Regardless, know that If a man is serious about you, then he’ll carve out some time to see you (even if Its a few weeks etc down the line due to a busy schedule).

So at this point, If this were me, I’d be quite clear about what I’m looking for and ask how he feels/whether he is looking for the same thing. If he doesn’t give you a clear answer and still leaves you hanging – I think you have your answer. 

All my duas,



Disclaimer: I am not a licensed relationship expert/coach. Advice and responses are solely based off my own experiences and opinions. Please use your own judgement and seek professional help where needed. 

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If you are searching for Islamic guidance, this is not the place. Please contact  an imam/ respected scholar etc who can can guide you appropriately inshAllah.

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